Fear

I had a dream about you last night
We were kissing and you smelled like smoke
We were in a greenhouse and we were sweating
Like the plants were sweating and I kept
On thinking, I need to go soon.
I leaned back and put all my weight
On my right hand at the edge of a glass table
But I lost my grip and in one slip
felt my palm split open.

You’re bleeding, you said
I know, I said
What happened
Nothing, I have to go.

I’m going to have a lot of things
Someday, you said
Things aren’t so important, I said.
Fuck that, they are.

In my dream
I remembered that it was only a
dream and I could do whatever the
hell I wanted so I left
I went outside and found myself
Walking on wet grass.
Then I saw the woman with no eyes
and long hair, the woman
Who killed me seven times
in the past thirteen years
And I had to run and keep on running
And I thought at least it was
Better than being in the greenhouse
Where you were too busy
With all the sharp plants to ever notice
that I fear so many things.