The Turtle and the Pup

One day, a turtle fell from the sky.
He landed on his back and cracked his shell.
He tried to turn over but he could not
Until a pup came by and helped the turtle turn over.
"I love you," said the turtle to the pup.
The pup liked the sound of these words
And wagged its tail.

God, Singapore

I do not feel Him
But I know that He is here.
Because of His Testaments
And because I have seen Him before
And because I have seen the evil one
In my dreams and on the corner
Holding a broken boom box
Staring.

When I was on the corner
doing His work
I have never been afraid
like that before
But I knew that He protected me
And so I was tormented but
confident
when a bloody woman
stood next to my bed
her hair loose, and she would not leave
for 3 months, though I asked and asked and asked.

And here in Singapore
I feel heavy
And wonder what it is like
to not know, and if I could ever
not know. It is not as bad as that summer
two years ago
But in some ways, it is:

Last month
I sat on the hot curbside and wondered
until I heard a song
and followed the tune
in forms of highs and lows
Mandarin
And I knew the song
was Truth
I heard it.

There are glimpses like that
But often I choose not to engage
not to defend
Not to speak
And sometimes, that is better because
it speaks more loudly
but sometimes it does not
And I know of those sometimes
And I feel saddened by it

For

He is what I know
And I am afraid
when I am not afraid
because that is when I know
that I am no longer trying.

I'm not as articulate as I like to pretend.
I get angry
behind my eyes
When the pitter jabber pitter jabber
will be incessant
insufferable
insufferable
But no words to describe it
No words to describe the endless
Speaking. It drives me mad to
be mute about the things that matter.
And yet
Sometimes the whole world is still
and I cannot even contend with its silence.

Danny

There is only nonsense in my head
and moving images of fiction
I love
The Firebrand
The Untamed:
Danny, my Danny.
Is coupling taming?
Not always.
For example - Bonnie and Clyde
Their togetherness was nothing for them.
So coupling the untameable
Leads to death
While coupling the tamed
With the untamed
Leads to sorrow
And maybe also death.
And what of those who watch and
shout and forewarn the folly of
"Patience standing on a pedestal
Smiling at grief?"
The performers and spectators
stumble on and off the
elevated ground.
I am one of them
And so are you.

I am in love with a man
death did not take him away
birthing did.
He never came to be and I
who was created
know of this
and see glimpses of his almost-being-ness
In pictures at art exhibits
And in passing expressions.
Frederic, an 81 year old French man
told me that he loved me
but that age did our parting:
The arms of 60 years gathers more
than two world wars.
Did he know of my missing friend? -
how he slipped and fell into the
black abyss that all infants must
leap over
in order to gasp and fall
into the turning place

story intro

There were four of them and none knew what to do with their lives. But there were more than four – thousands and hundreds of thousands – but here there were four. And they were all friends and called and free.

a conversation

It’s been a long time
But we talked yesterday, father.
Oh, is that right?
Yes.
What did you do today?
I went to work and picked up the children from school. What did you do today? Is Mrs. Huh taking good care of you?
What?
Is Mrs. Huh taking good care of you?
Yes yes.
And what did you do today?
Oh well, you know.
Oh okay.
And What did you do today?
I went to work and picked up the children from school.
Oh the children are doing well?
Yes. Here they are.
Hello grandfather.
Oh, hello, hello!
We miss you grandfather.
Yes yes.
And did you eat well? I heard you haven’t been eating well.
That Mrs. Huh says things she shouldn’t.
Did you go on your walk today?
Not today. It was too hot.
But you should try and go on your walks when you can, they are good for you.
Yes. What did you do today?
I went to work and then picked up the children from school.
And what did you do today?
You asked me already father - I went to work
Yes and then? What did you do?
And then went on a marvelous run.
Oh did you?
Yes, behind the canyons and then through them. The sky was just like the time we went to Jejoodo. Do you remember that father?
Who?
Jejoodo for my sixteenth birthday, you took me there.
Of course of course.
Father you must eat well –
Of course of course.
And please I know it must be tiring but please listen to Mrs. Huh ---
Jejoodo, I took you on a boat ride, I Think.
Yes father, and please do ---
Are you coming soon?
I was just there last month.
Of course, of course.
We had the most delicious fish there didn’t we?
Yes.
Please do listen to Mrs. Huh she says you’re not taking care of yourself
What?
You must take better care ---
Okay, be strong then ---
Yes.
We’ll talk soon, yes? Goodbye.
Goodbye father.