I think I'm being way too general, cryptic, and honest

I.
I am self deprecating
Depreciating
Spiteful, vengeful, and pissed off.
I’m tired of finding words
To retranslate these colors
Inside of me, and I always stray
Far from the triggering idea.

Is this what it takes to write?
Mediocre writing nonetheless.
Then again, I don’t know what
That means anymore

II.
Yesterday someone told me I
Was overly critical. The first thing
I thought was, that’s because I
Criticize you, bitch. Then
I thought, that wasn’t very kind.

III.
Shit. I love to stare.

IV.
I really need to read the Bible more.
I’m always looking for cryptic adventures,
something other than
Whatever I am or have now. I think I
Have a tendency to put things off
That could possibly be good for me.

V.
I’ve never been in love and I don’t think
Its possible that I ever will. This
Might make some people very happy.

VI.
My friends are the most tolerant people
In the world. If I poured pineapple juice
On my head, they’d make me into a smoothie.

VII.
Sometimes, the second I see someone I immediately find them irresistibly interesting: Cindy, Helen, Matt, Amaka, Curtis, Jay, Robert, Stephen, Hannah, Alex, Josh. If one of these names is your name, and you think it is you then it is probably you. Just kidding.

VII.A.
Usually, when I approach someone who fascinates me, I’m not too worried about freaking anyone out because they end up being flattered and interested in return but once in a while I fear that I’ll come off as a creepster. So I just don’t say anything. So if I’m always awkwardly silent around you...

VII.B.
Sometimes after I get to know someone they’re not so interesting anymore.

VIII.
The way to get my attention is to be a golden doodle puppy. Or just be ridiculously confident and forward. I’m not talking about romantic relationships here. I’m talking about life in general. People are too damn passive.

VIII.A.
I met a BBC war-footage filmographer on the subway in Hollywood last summer. He almost dies every day. I guess that’s what it takes to be forward.

VIV.
Apparently I abandon people.

X.
Apparently I’ve been abandoned.

XI.
Apparently I’m lots of fun when I’m
Not feeling the way I’m feeling right now.
Or if I’m a little drunk.

XII.
Socially awkward people love me.
So did my fish named Potiphar.