I'm not as articulate as I like to pretend.
I get angry
behind my eyes
When the pitter jabber pitter jabber
will be incessant
insufferable
insufferable
But no words to describe it
No words to describe the endless
Speaking. It drives me mad to
be mute about the things that matter.
And yet
Sometimes the whole world is still
and I cannot even contend with its silence.

Danny

There is only nonsense in my head
and moving images of fiction
I love
The Firebrand
The Untamed:
Danny, my Danny.
Is coupling taming?
Not always.
For example - Bonnie and Clyde
Their togetherness was nothing for them.
So coupling the untameable
Leads to death
While coupling the tamed
With the untamed
Leads to sorrow
And maybe also death.
And what of those who watch and
shout and forewarn the folly of
"Patience standing on a pedestal
Smiling at grief?"
The performers and spectators
stumble on and off the
elevated ground.
I am one of them
And so are you.

I am in love with a man
death did not take him away
birthing did.
He never came to be and I
who was created
know of this
and see glimpses of his almost-being-ness
In pictures at art exhibits
And in passing expressions.
Frederic, an 81 year old French man
told me that he loved me
but that age did our parting:
The arms of 60 years gathers more
than two world wars.
Did he know of my missing friend? -
how he slipped and fell into the
black abyss that all infants must
leap over
in order to gasp and fall
into the turning place

story intro

There were four of them and none knew what to do with their lives. But there were more than four – thousands and hundreds of thousands – but here there were four. And they were all friends and called and free.

a conversation

It’s been a long time
But we talked yesterday, father.
Oh, is that right?
Yes.
What did you do today?
I went to work and picked up the children from school. What did you do today? Is Mrs. Huh taking good care of you?
What?
Is Mrs. Huh taking good care of you?
Yes yes.
And what did you do today?
Oh well, you know.
Oh okay.
And What did you do today?
I went to work and picked up the children from school.
Oh the children are doing well?
Yes. Here they are.
Hello grandfather.
Oh, hello, hello!
We miss you grandfather.
Yes yes.
And did you eat well? I heard you haven’t been eating well.
That Mrs. Huh says things she shouldn’t.
Did you go on your walk today?
Not today. It was too hot.
But you should try and go on your walks when you can, they are good for you.
Yes. What did you do today?
I went to work and then picked up the children from school.
And what did you do today?
You asked me already father - I went to work
Yes and then? What did you do?
And then went on a marvelous run.
Oh did you?
Yes, behind the canyons and then through them. The sky was just like the time we went to Jejoodo. Do you remember that father?
Who?
Jejoodo for my sixteenth birthday, you took me there.
Of course of course.
Father you must eat well –
Of course of course.
And please I know it must be tiring but please listen to Mrs. Huh ---
Jejoodo, I took you on a boat ride, I Think.
Yes father, and please do ---
Are you coming soon?
I was just there last month.
Of course, of course.
We had the most delicious fish there didn’t we?
Yes.
Please do listen to Mrs. Huh she says you’re not taking care of yourself
What?
You must take better care ---
Okay, be strong then ---
Yes.
We’ll talk soon, yes? Goodbye.
Goodbye father.